Saturday, November 25, 2006

Hello World

I've missed you! It's been too long!

Today it snowed! Why is snow beautiful? What makes it so inspiring? Well even if the causes are a mystery, the effects are clear! It made a good start to the day - the sun not even brightening the horizon and the moon hidden by pollution, the cold seemed to refect off the snow and enhance the freshness of the air.

I have a question. Is it normal to question your direction so much? I think that sometimes I wonder where I am going so much that perhaps I don't get anywhere. I am also in a deep conflict between the need to do something and my personal theory that we can only be happy if we accept our lot and enjoy the experiences that life offers us. In other words, 'going with the flow' is the only route to happiness. Contrary to this, though, I tend to feel most happy when I'm going against the flow. Even more confusing though I don't feel happy when I feel like I am pulling other people against the flow. Imposition is something I have a real problem with!

Now I am confusing myself. Perhaps to summarise:

1. Happiness comes from acceptance.
2. Society expects you to do something.
3. Is acceptance going with the flow?
4. Is going against the flow making problems for other people?

Much clearer! My current resolution goes something like this:

Assuming that other people are able to make their own decisions and voice them, I can discount problem number 4. I can also argue that 3. is logically inconsistent. The fact that most people don't accept their lot makes acceptance a positively disruptive step to take. However, I think it is not a black and white system. Acceptance could be understood as 'accept you will never succeed and never achieve anything so sit at home and watch Sky TV for ever more'. This is more like denial. I suppose I see acceptance as coming to the realisation that everyone has the potential to make a positive impact on the world (however small) and that with this potential comes some responsibility - the responsibility to follow it through. Happiness then comes from fulfilment. Fulfilment is the realisation that you have taken responsibility, achieved something and helped people.

And to summarise again:

1. Imposition is in the eye of the imposter (so to speak)
2. Acceptance is going against the flow
3. The role we should accept is that of a responsibility to make a positive impact
4. Happiness is derived from fulfilment.
5. Fulfilment is dying with the knowledge you took responsibility, achieved something and helped people.

So the next question is, When is the best time to die?


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